field notes
what love bombing is, and what it is not
a fast flood of attention can be joy. it becomes something else when the flood is used to skip knowing you, then to punish distance.
love bombing, in ordinary speech, is the early rush: all-day texts, future talk, grand claims before a shared life exists. some of that is just two people lit up. the pattern that hurts is the rush followed by a collapse. warmth becomes surveillance. disagreement becomes coldness. you start working to earn back the first week.
it is not the same as someone who likes you quickly. speed is not the crime. the tell is whether your no still has room, and whether their warmth survives an ordinary Tuesday.
after it ends, the body often misses the intensity more than the person. that is confusing. intensity is a weather system. it can feel like fate. it is usually a nervous system that was never allowed to settle.
you do not need a courtroom. you need a place for the hurt that does not ask you to explain it first. what still hurts is that door. if the urge is to reopen the flood, write it unsent.